Security Theatre – Don’t You Hate It?

I recently read a piece by Caleb Giddings on his family trip to Disney World and his experience with Disney Security. He noted how efficient and effective their security is and how he dealt with being ‘unarmed’ in the park. That got me thinking of a recent experience I had with a hospital and my general disdain for security theatre. 

I recently had a family member who had an extended stay at a hospital. I visited daily, often going back and forth to retrieve this or that to make their stay more comfortable. Luckily, everything’s fine now, but in a span of about four days, I must have walked through various ‘secure’ entries and exits more than a couple of dozen times. 

I knew from experience that this hospital would be a legal no-go for concealed carry in my state, so the mohaska was a no-go from the start. However, I don’t make it a common occurrence to visit hospitals, so I was surprised at security stations by doors, and dare I say metal detectors and guards. 

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Admittedly, I felt a little better. Laws only stop people who follow them from carrying weapons. However, a guard and a metal detector could at least reduce the likelihood of riff raff. I realized I fell for it, I fell for the effects of security theatre once more. I did what was expected of me. After I dried my eyes from tears of personal disappointment, my irritation commenced. 

What’s the Point? 

With the metal detectors at the entrance and a guard three feet behind it, I expected to be stopped. I had a backpack with a tablet, chargers, my keys, a laptop, a cell phone, etc. There was no table to set my metal belongings on, so I walked on through. 

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The detector squawked rather rudely, and the green light went to red, and I stood there in front of the security guard waiting for him to do something. He must not have heard the obnoxious squawk, which is easy to believe due to his phone blasting TikTok at full volume and how loud he was laughing. 

I stood there, close enough to smell his lunch, and he never looked up. Irritated, I just walked past him, carrying everything worth making the detector squeal. In the distance, I heard a slight “hey,” but kept walking; it wasn’t my problem anymore. 

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You might say the guy profiled me correctly. I wasn’t a threat, but if we are doing an honest self-eval, I feel like I would search for a guy that looks like me, especially on that day. I was a mess, just scrambling to the floor after a long night at work. Eyes bloodshot, likely irritated, and I’m 6’5”, so it’s not like I blend in. I’m also coming in with a backpack and no visitor’s badge in sight. 

Yet I sailed through. 

Security Theatre – Worse Than Nothing

Throughout the stay, as we moved from the ER to being admitted, I used different entrances and exits. I also had to be creative with my parking at times, so I might enter the east wing instead of the west. I learned that not every entrance had metal detectors, but everyone had a guard of some sort. 

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When they had metal detectors, I sailed through, honestly amazed each time. The squawk became background noise to me, and I had stopped emptying my pockets before I walked through. Only once did a guard stop me; a nice woman beyond retirement age asked who I was visiting, made a call, and asked me to open my bag. 

That was it. Most of the guards ignored me, some playing with phones, others arguing with significant others on their phones. One was sleeping at his desk. If I got even a glance as I passed, I considered it a win. 

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I’ll disengage from my rant on hospital security. I’ll go back to the fact that even when metal detectors and guards are present, it can still be a security theatre. Security theatre is like any theatre; it’s a fiction meant to resemble a particular topic. 

Security theatre, much like the real theatre, is to make you feel something. In this case secure. That’s why the security theatre is worse than nothing. It can make you feel secure, potentially lowering your situational awareness. In a situation where you can’t have a gun, all you have left is situational awareness. 

Recognizing Security Theatre 

Recognizing security theatre can be a good skill to have. Security theatre aims to give the appearance of security while not providing any real safety or prevention of violence. In my situation, it’s pretty easy to recognize that sleeping guards and ignored metal detectors are security theatre and mass complacency from the security personnel. 

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Sometimes it can be more subtle than that. To recognize security theatre, put yourself in the mind of a motivated person intending to do harm and ask yourself what security measure being implemented would stop you?

How deep do your bags get searched? If it’s a top-layer search, then it’s not that great. You’ll often see a checklist-type approach with security theatre. They gotta mark a box, and as long as the box is marked, they consider their jobs done. 

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The litmus test is simple. Would this stop me from doing harm if I were intent on doing harm? If the answer is no, it’s security theatre. 

How hard are they looking at IDs? Is it a glance and go? Furthermore, who are they hiring for security? Are they armed? What can they do to stop a threat in general? Sadly, we have to deal with security theatre instead of just being able to protect ourselves. 

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