The United States is a tapestry of various condiments.
Mustards of endless varieties, ketchups, sauces and aiolis, and you can slather as much of it on your food as you want (although I do have a theory about a correlation between extreme condiment usage and low IQs, but that’s a topic for another day).
But no condiment has captured the minds and taste buds of World Cup visitors quite like ranch dressing, and the folks at Kraft worked overtime in the lab to make sure fans can mule their calorie-packed bounty back home.
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The TSA made a (kind of) tongue-in-cheek post reminding travelers that ranch dressing is subject to the agency’s carry-on liquid restrictions.
Well, Kraft has a solution: TSA-compliant ranch packets.
It is not going to be a fun day to be at Hidden Valley HQ when they realize they got beaten to the punch on this.
The post says that the image is partially AI-generated, but they’re working on the real deal.
Now, I love bespoke equipment that solves a very specific problem, but there’s another solution that I think everyone is forgetting.
So, Hidden Valley folks, listen up…
You need to set up pop-up ranch stores in airport terminals after TSA. That way, fans can just stick it in their carry-on.
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I also think you’d move more of it because people would see it and make an impulse buy. Maybe some German fans would be like, “This stuff was great! Perhaps it would be good on mein schnitzel, ja?”
I call this the “Hudson News” strategy. You walk in there and magically leave with bags of pretzels and a Stephen King book you didn’t want but bought because you were bored.
Hell, it was this phenomenon that led to me buying a Lebanon bologna one time and flying with it in my backpack (that was actually a very good decision in retrospect, and it made my backpack smell delicious).
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So, while I like where the Kraft heads are at, I think there are a few more weeks of World Cup action that could see record airport terminal ranch sales if companies play their cards right.
Let’s get on that.
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