We’ve all had those moments when we’re presented with a modular gun and the ability to attach whatever we want to it. We get a little crazy and do silly stuff, like mount an SBS to a rifle, or a flamethrower, and according to USA Today, a chainsaw. I know this feeling is universal because I’ve seen some wacky guns out there, especially in movies and TV. Today, let’s look at some of those wacky movie and TV guns.
Most don’t make much sense, but they can be at the very least entertaining. Some might make you roll your eyes, but I tend to be at the very least amused by some of these wacky guns, especially if the movie is intentionally trying to be a little wacky.
The Snake Plisken MAC-10
Oh good lord, the Escape From New York MAC-10 is one of the zaniest movie guns I’ve ever seen. Escape From New York is a fun, campy movie with neo-noir undertones. Due to its camp and kind of weirdness, I can accept the weird gun.
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It’s a MAC-10 submachine gun, the famed .45 ACP bullet sprayer outfitted with its iconic SIONICS suppressor. What makes the gun memorable is the variable scope mounted to the suppressor. Believe it or not, that’s a terrible idea.
Even if it’s a long eye relief scope, mounting an optic to a suppressor is a poor idea. The can gets hot, isn’t exactly a stable platform, and I’m doubting it can hold zero. They also removed the stock, and put a leather sling in its place. It’s goofy but fun, and later had a cameo in The Walking Dead.
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Naked Gun 2 ½ : The Smell of Fear Desert Eagle/M60
We all know OJ Simpson is more of a knife guy, but people forget his role in the Naked Gun movies. In Naked Gun 2.5 there was a running joke where OJ’s gun continued to get more and more wacky. His sidearm of choice is a Desert Eagle that slowly transforms into an M60 machine gun.
The Desert Eagle at one point wears a wire stock, an MP5SD handguard, and a Vietnam-era Starlight night vision scope. He continues to transform the gun into an M60, at one point seemingly adding an M2 .50 cal barrel to the gun. The eventual transformation is absurd, hilarious, but I think a wire stock on a Deagle isn’t a wacky idea….
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The Annihilator 2000 From Beverly Hills Cop
The Annihilator 2000 From Beverly Hills Cop
The early 1990s and late 1980s were a time of excess and technology. Nothing shows that better than 1994’s Beverly Hills Cop 3 and the Annihilator 2000. As far as movie guns go it’s on another level. The Annihilator 2000 is at its core a Colt 723, but it’s so much more than that.
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According to an ad in the film, it’s:
“A new generation of luxury personal weaponry, the Annihilator 2000 is America’s premier survival, home and travel security unit. The Annihilator 2000 is a high-performance weapon that meets the demands of upper income urban survivalist.
The Annihilator 2000 has the conveniences of a cellphone, fax and microwave oven. Night-vision goggles, microprocessor, verbal alarm system, compact disc player, digital AM/FM radio, video camera and playback functions are just a few features of the extraordinary Annihilator 2000.
Stopping power is a matter of convenience. The Annihilator 2000 is constructed of aluminum alloy combined with polymer technology, totally resistant to corrosion. A new generation luxury personal weaponry, the Annihilator 2000 is America’s premier survival, home and travel security unit.”
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Stargate and the Carter Special
To many, the gun of Stargate will always be the P90. To me, the gun of Stargate is the Carter Special. Major Samantha Carter ditched the P90 for a custom AR. Specifically, an Olympic Arms K23B, which featured a super short 6.5-inch barrel and pig’s tail gas tube.
The rifle was then outfitted with a Bushmaster quad rail and a Bell and Carlson thumbhole stock. The rifle is finished with an Elcan OS3, a meaty optic for such a small gun. They even attached a light to the gun, which was pretty forward-thinking for the show. Finally, they tossed on a Beta C-Mag drum to top it off.
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It’s a crazy looking gun that was necessary because getting 5.7 blanks was getting harder and harder. It created a wacky-looking gun that was capable of being SciFi without being a P90. It beat the gun from Tomorrow War by a couple of decades. This is the only gun from a TV show on this movie guns list, and that speaks volumes.
Bullet Train Thompson SMG
Bullet Train is a fun little movie that sadly got ignored. It’s a fun little action flick chock full of assassins, guns, and fun. Most of the guns aren’t all that notable, but one stands out to me. Near the end, we get to see what happens when a Mall Ninja gets a Thompson and outfits it as such. It becomes one of many awesome movie guns we see in this film.
One of the White Death’s goons carries the gun, but it’s later wielded by the big bad. The stock is gone, because who needs to aim? We get a drum, because why wouldn’t we? We get two flashlights, because one is none, and two is one. Finally, we get a forward-placed optic.
Nothing about the gun makes sense. It feels a bit like a sequel to the Snake Plisken MAC-10, but on an even older platform. I kinda wish the guns used in Bullet Train leaned into silly. It’s a silly movie, and wacky guns would have been right at home.
Staying Wacky
Wacky movie guns are always going to exist. The call to make abominations and shove them in front of millions of people will never be satiated. It’s our siren, and by god, you couldn’t tie us to a ship to avoid their call.
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