Tattoo experts slam cover-up as ‘sloppy mess’
Graham Platner, the bearded socialist running for U.S. Senate in Maine, has unveiled the new tattoo he got to cover up the Nazi skull on his chest. In place of the Totenkopf, or “death’s head,” symbol adopted by Holocaust perpetrators during World War II, Platner’s new tattoo depicts what might charitably be described as a morbidly obese Celtic wolf drawn by a six-year-old child.
Experts slammed the Nazi cover-up as one of the worst tattoo jobs they have ever seen, noting that parts of the skull and crossbones were still clearly visible. “Whoever did this is not particularly talented,” said Adam Kredo, 53, a degenerate blogger with numerous tattoos depicting the unspeakable. “It’s a horrible tattoo, and the quality is truly piss poor. The embellishments on each side are a sloppy mess.”
Ethan Barton, an egregiously tattooed liberal journalist who resides in the hipster cesspool of Denver, Colo., was also unimpressed. “The lines on the circle are especially bad,” he told the Washington Free Beacon. “Looks wobbly as hell.”
Platner claims to have gotten the Nazi tattoo during a drunken night out in Croatia in 2007. The embattled candidate said he only recently became aware of the Nazi affiliation. In an effort to preempt a story being shopped by his Democratic primary opponents, Platner went on Pod Save America and denied being a “secret” Nazi. He did not deny being an overt Nazi, raising further questions about his support for genocide.
Genevieve McDonald, who resigned as Platner’s campaign manager last week in response to unearthed Reddit posts in which the candidate disparaged black people, rural Americans, police officers, and rape victims, suggested Platner was lying about being unaware of the tattoo’s significance. “Graham has an anti-Semitic tattoo on his chest,” she wrote. “He’s not an idiot, he’s a military history buff … he knows damn well what it means.” Another former associate of Platner’s told Jewish Insider the candidate proudly referred to the tattoo as “my Totenkopf.”
An extensive Free Beacon analysis determined that Platner’s attempt to cover up the anti-Semitic tattoo was also riddled with Nazi symbolism. A close reading of the poorly drawn obese wolf creature suggests the new tattoo is most likely a reference to Blondi, the German Shepherd who accompanied Adolf Hitler to his Führerbunker in 1945. Most glaringly, the animal’s arms and legs are positioned to resemble two halves of a swastika. The less said about the tattoo’s proximity to Platner’s nipple, the better.
Platner’s radical left-wing comrades rushed to defend the candidate’s decision to use his body as a canvas to glorify the Holocaust. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.) declined to withdraw his support, praising Platner as an “excellent nominee” who would “fight for the working class.” He blamed the “corrupt campaign finance system” for creating an environment in which candidates are exposed and unfairly criticized for having Nazi-affiliated tattoos.
Krystal Ball, the former Democratic candidate best known for fellating a red dildo attached to a man’s nose at a Christmas party, said she’d rather support a candidate with a “regrettable tattoo” than a candidate who supports Israel and opposes Hamas. Anti-Israel journalist Ryan Grim blasted the Democratic Party establishment for refusing to support Platner and other “normal people with some small skeletons in their closet (or inked on their chest).”
The Obama bros at Pod Save America, whose voracious pro-Iranian activism likely inspired would-be Trump assassin Ryan Routh, were eager to give Platner a safe space to defend his Nazi tattoo. This was a marked departure from their condemnation of Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, whose tattoos of Christian symbols they denounced as a “dog whistle” for “white nationalists.”
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