Happy Monday, everybody. So let’s talk about an important fight that’s just getting started. No, it’s not Kudlow versus Kilmeade in Foxy Boxing, but tickets are still available. Yeah, that didn’t land. Florida has joined Iowa, Utah and Arkansas to become the fourth state this year to pass universal school choice. It’s such a big deal. It got Randi Weingarten to finally wash her hair. Today, Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill which expands the state’s education savings account to all K-12 students, regardless of race, income, background, or even zip code. Mm-hmm. Now, that they have school choice, Florida’s parents’ biggest worry will be that their kids will be eaten by pythons. That wouldn’t be a worry for me.
So the good news is those funds could be used for anything from private school tuition, tutoring, textbooks, homeschooling, online learning, special needs therapy. And in Florida, alligator repellent. As proponents put it, it funds students and not systems, which may finally force public schools to compete in something other than best drag queen.
Florida is the sixth state nationwide to approve such options and if more states do the same, this could reshape the country. But there’s still a challenge. It’s time. Parents don’t have any, activists do. Whether it’s graphic sex in textbooks, critical race theory or drag queen story hour, the parents are always caught off guard. They’re lied to that it’s not really happening until they find out their daughter, Tammy, now goes by Timmy. It’s the equation of activism. Parents are busy making babies, taking care of babies, working to pay off those babies. Activists don’t have these pressures. I mean, have you seen them? Who would have babies with that? Oh, yeah. Applaud their ugliness. They’re homely.
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So it’s about free time and the creeps got a lot of it. That’s why they can protest. It’s not like they’ll be late for work because owning cats isn’t technically work. So they have time to agitate and indoctrinate. You don’t. Fact is, the people who are trying to change your world, they don’t even live in it. If you think men have babies, you probably don’t have babies. They aren’t dealing with daycare or diapers like parents do. Or Joe Biden.
They love a cheap shot, this crowd, and that’s why I love them. But activists, they don’t live your life. Instead, they are what I call issue squatters. They show up on turf that’s not theirs and they act like they’re the new sheriff in town. Activists interfere in your kids lives and do so under the ruse of right to privacy. Yeah. Suddenly grade school lesson plans are classified. As if adults saying this is our little secret has ever led to something good. Have you seen the TikTok videos of bug-eyed activists boasting about indoctrinating kids?
It’s not a figment of your imagination. Like that dream you keep having of me windsurfing. But when you shine a light on it, they freak out. It’s their golden rule. You shall not show the world exactly what we say because even they know their ideas are gross and must be hidden from light and disinfected.
Just like mushrooms or Billy Baldwin. Got to go after that Baldwin now. We’re running out of Baldwin’s. Not kidding. Folks on the left accuse you of transphobia for simply tweeting their TikTok videos. Sorry to complain about a video you posted getting more exposure you got to have bigger balls than a lady swimmer.
So activists have parents over a barrel, and the barrel is simply being a parent. You know, parents are crazed. They’re getting kids ready for school, paying bills, driving minivans, wearing horrible jeans. They don’t have time to battle angry, joyless activists. It’s not a fair fight because the weapon, again is time and parents are just too busy to fight back. So they’re the last to know who they’re actually fighting against. And activists don’t have to do anything but scream for wacky causes and because face tattoos are painful. And after messing with the lives of others, what do these activists say? Well, mind your own business. Stay out of ours. Yeah. Creeps wanting to tamper with your kids’ growth believe they have a right to privacy. Nope. They’ve gone too far.
In fact, it’s a movement that’s gone too far in everything. So school choice is no longer about education, but about values. It’s not about classes or cafeterias or teacher-to-student ratio. It’s about indoctrination in the form of gender, politics, oppression theology and guilt by historical association. And here’s why. Life doesn’t make these unhappy people. So these people have to make their own, and they got to find that raw material somewhere.
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