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Katie and Dustin Maletich, Oregon parents of four, have gone viral on social media for a parenting moment that’s sparked some debate.
After Dustin’s 9-year-old stepson, Tommy, told his mother to “chill,” he was instructed to do several push-ups and 60 squats as a form of discipline.
The workout was met with a father-son conversation about the tone in which he should be speaking to his mother. Tommy was attentive and apologized to his mom.
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Dustin Maletich, who is a corrections officer at a prison, ended the confrontation with an “I love you” and a hug.
While some praised the stepfather for his approach, others were concerned about using physical exercise as a form of punishment.
Dr. Dyan Hes, pediatrician and medical director at Highline Modern Medicine in New York, reacted to this discipline method in an interview with Fox News Digital, calling it a “ridiculous punishment.”
“If you have ever done 60 squats, you know it is painful, especially in a young prepubescent child,” she said. “Regardless, this is still a form of corporal punishment. Exercise should invoke positive connotations, not negative ones.”
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Educational psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba shared a different perspective, stating that the stepfather approached it the “right way” by responding calmly and enforcing a punishment that seemed familiar and doable for the child.
The California-based expert was more concerned about how posting the video online could emotionally impact the child and invoke “public shame.”
In an on-camera interview with Fox News Digital, the Maletich family shared that fitness isn’t used as a punishment for their children, but as a method of teaching self-control and emotional regulation. (See the video at the top of the article.)
“It’s never like, ‘We’re punishing you because you were bad,'” Katie Maletich said. “It’s, ‘Hey, let’s help you figure out some better self-control and a better outlet for whatever is going on.’”
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Dustin Maletich added, “We try to have the consequences correlate with the inappropriate behavior. If you demonstrate the inability to control your actions, then by doing physical activity, you’re showing yourself that you are in control of your actions.”
“There are plenty of times that I get frustrated,” he went on. “I can’t lash out at my boss. I can’t yell at somebody. I can’t throw a tantrum. That’s not the way the world works.”
The couple shared that their oldest daughter, who is 13, chooses to walk or jog if her emotions are feeling out of control, before engaging in a conversation with her parents.
“[Our daughter] said, ‘I don’t want to have a sit-down conversation with you when I’m cranky,’ but when she goes jogging on the treadmill, she said she finds that afterward, she’s able to better communicate her feelings because she’s more centered,” Katie Maletich said.
“Our kids like working out. They don’t do it every day, but I think overall they enjoy it, because it’s such a central part of our home.”
Fitness is a “positive bonding experience” for the Maletichs, she said. “They feel better, and they voice it afterward … They’re happier, they’re less frustrated. And so, to us, we see that as a win.”
This approach to discipline can differ for each child and circumstance, the Maletichs shared, which involves “intention and intuition.”
“The biggest thing is just learning to respond as a parent rather than reacting,” Katie said.
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The couple’s approach to parenting is “we’re not raising kids, we’re raising adults,” Dustin shared.
“I think putting more focus on how our kids are going to be able to handle life when they’re adults is more important than figuring out how to make them happy and comfortable right now,” Katie said.
For other parents, Katie noted that physical activity has worked “really well” when followed by “connection and conversation.”
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“That’s a really essential part of this,” she said. “You have to explain it to them afterward and make sure that connection, both emotionally and to the issue and consequence, is there.”
The couple also responded to the backlash they received after posting the video, mentioning that they asked their son for consent before sharing it. He responded with hopes that it would go viral.
Read the full article here
