The sun is out, it’s 59 brisk degrees here in Ohio and it’s time to fire off a fresh edition of Thursday Screencaps where I better not hear anyone north of the Ohio River complaining this morning. We’re heading for a high of 80. I am talking one of the most beautiful July days in the history of this state.
Speaking of Ohio, my home state, where I was born, where my kids were born, where I went to college, let’s head down state route 23 to Columbus where our Ohio State quarterback seems to be having himself quite a summer.
Miami University sorority girl and pilates instructor Paulina Adams — I’d never heard of her — revealed she’s dating Julian Sayin. And just like that, the college football season is officially off and running for this column. For Screencaps, this is like a cannon going off at a golf course to start a golf scramble (Green Hills golf course in Clyde, OH fires off a cannon; it’s great).
CHRISTIAN PULISIC RECOVERS FROM HIS WORLD CUP INJURY BY HANGING OUT WITH MEGAN MORONEY IN NASHVILLE
This is like an elite prospect getting called up from Triple-A. I’m talking the kind of prospect who’s about to make 14 all-star teams, win an MVP and probably 10 Gold Gloves. There have been moments over my career where I just have a feeling that a content creator is going to be an Internet star.
Paulina Adams has all the intangibles. Now it’s up to Sayin to go out and have a season. We could be looking at a Skenes-Dunne career trajectory if things work out this fall.
Trust me, Screencaps is BUCKLED UP.
KRISTIN CAVALLARI GETS RAVE REVIEWS FOR HER FIRST PITCH AT CUBS GAME, 7’6 15-YEAR-OLD BASKETBALL PLAYER & MEAT
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After spending all summer acting, and dressing, like she was trying out for a ridiculous PBS Shakespeare TV series that your grandma fake-watched, Maria Sharapova is back to acting like the pop culture icon that we all fell in love with in the early 2000s.
I write about this quite a bit. I’m talking about the whole thing where women hit their late 30s and all of a sudden they’re eating mushrooms, praying to butterfly gods and burning incense to cleanse the air in their apartment while a cat takes a dump in a litter trap placed in the kitchen.
There’s nothing quite insufferable like these women going on podcasts and rambling about how they’re reclaiming their souls or some stupid crap they’ve heard from some Oprah guest.
It’s all a work, folks.
Then, when you’re not looking, Maria and other ladies/moms in their late 30s are acting like they’re in Fountain of Wayne’s classic “Stacy’s Mom” music video. Don’t let them fool you with their Shakespearean Instagram posts.
The story of Shatner and his daughter popped up on our TV last night and I about came out of my recliner. The minute you don’t see photos of a celebrity for several years is typically the time where they’re in decline and near death. Then Shatner pops up on TV looking like he’s 75.
This is a guy who has been married FOUR times. You’d think such a run would wear his ass out. Nope.
– Chris B. wants to take a shot at explaining things to his fellow readers: I don’t think the sale-leaseback is, in and of itself, a sign of impending doom for Cracker Barrel. The deal only includes 26/658 locations, or about 4%.
The technique isn’t unheard-of; I’ve seen lot of medical practice building sales for a cash infusion (doctors are notorious for post-divorce cash-flow problems).A lot of the success of the deal will depend on the new lease terms, since CB is exchanging equity for rent payments — so there will be a TBD effect on the P&L. Again, though, it’s a small number of properties.The same-store revenue drop year-over-year seems like it could be caused by decreased road travel, or changes to road tripping, because of costs for gas and every other damn thing.
If–and only if–CEO Masino does the right thing (TBD) and actually applies the $77MM to debt, the company might come out slightly stronger.All of this is speculative and subject to the usual disclaimers about things like hiring another woke moron to run marketing…
– Bill D. says doom could be on the horizon: All you really need to understand about what’s going on at Cracker Barrel is to look at the table on page 24 of their most recent Form 10-Q. This is the table where they show Cracker Barrel comparable store sales.
https://investor.crackerbarrel.com/static-files/8bc425e9-e009-4264-8d93-bf8d8dc0f958
Notice the disastrous numbers for the nine month FYTD period which show restaurant comparable sales down 4.9% yr/yr and retail (e.g. gift shop) sales down 6.9% yr/yr.
These are horribly bad numbers for a restaurant. As you wrote last September, the Cracker Barrel CEO embarked on a completely foolish attempt to rebrand the stores and the menu and it has been a disaster in terms of foot traffic to the restaurants and gift shops as well as comparable store sales. While the company claims to have reversed those rebranding decisions, the damage has been done as that table clearly shows.
The company will not go under tomorrow because they still have a lot of revenue coming in and they are still throwing off cash. But if they can’t stem the decline in same store sales and get customers coming in the door again then it will eventually fail.
Kinsey: DISCLAIMER: THE OPINIONS SHARED HERE ARE EXACTLY THAT, JUST OPINIONS AND OBSERVATIONS. DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND YOU CAN SUE ME, BILL D., CHRIS B., OR OUTKICK, BECAUSE I ADDED THIS DISCLAIMER THAT NOTHING WRITTEN IN THIS COLUMN SHOULD BE TAKEN AS FINANCIAL ADVICE. DUE YOUR OWN DUE DILIGENCE!
– Mike in Texas shares: Reading your column [Wednesday morning] and when I came across the article about Fort McCoy Wisconsin it brought back some memories. My Dad was stationed there in 1940, PRIOR to WWII! He was with the 5th (Red Diamond) Division, 21st Field Artillery, Battery B.
As a young, recently promoted 1st Lieutenant, he commanded that battery. Back then it was called Camp McCoy. Dad went on to serve 38 months overseas in Europe. The one episode that scarred him for life was his involvement in the liberation of Dachau at the end of April 1945.
– Dawgs fan Sam L. wants answers: With the continued onslaught of Cyclosporiasis, every article/headline labels the resulting ‘explosive diarrhea’. My question is, who decides when such an event is ‘explosive’?
Could one person’s strong ejection equal another’s explosive output?Thanks to South Park, we have a standard to measure turd sizes – The Couric.MSM is once again delivering fake news. How can I trust them that they know what ‘explosive diarrhea’ constitute? Have they investigated, found some parasites, and take one for the team to truly tell us if they suffered explosively?
‘Cmon hack John Lemmon, ABC killjoy David Miur, CNN flunky Joe Tapper. Eat some Taco Bell with Lettuce and tells use if its a dribble, a flow, a splatter, a jet, or an explosion. Edward Murrow would have and spit tobacco juice in your faces, you sacks of lying non-explosive s–t.
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On that note, let’s crank it down on this beautiful morning. I have work to do. You have work to do. Many of you have another day of retirement to live. Go out and keep busy. I watch the retiree across the street from us, John, out working on his new Ford Maverick truck just about every day. He’s waxed down that orange truck at least five times in 10 days.
Hey, at least he’s staying busy. Let’s go get after it.
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