Final week of April, folks. We’re here. We’ve made it. Feels like this is really the final few days of spring too, right? Maybe it’s because I’m in Florida and it’s supposed to be 90 this weekend, but when May hits, spring is over for me.
We’re about to be in the thick of it. We’ll get a couple tiny cooldowns in May, and for us that’s anything below 85. But other than that? Summer is just about here.
I can smell it. I can feel it in my bones. The snakes are out. The critters are chomping at the bit. I’m having to fire up the mower more than once a week. I’m going through multiple shirts a day, and some days I don’t even leave the house.
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Doesn’t matter. Summer will always find you in Florida. Let’s roll.
Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps — the one where Bill Belichick and Jordon Hudson had a dominant weekend at one of Jordon’s recitals. Wait till you see Bill’s outfit for the tourney. Is UNC about to tear the college football world apart this season, or WHAT?
What else? I’ve got the best of the rest from a loaded weekend of #content, the Red Sox escorted the fired coaches out of the city in embarrassing fashion over the weekend, and I had a gator escorted from my pond on Saturday. True story.
OK, grab you some prime rib for National Prime Rib Day, and settle in for a Monday ‘Cap!
Bill is gearing up for the season
I have a confession to make … prime rib? Overrated. It’s fine. It’s nothing special. I don’t know why, but I’ve never been the biggest fan.
And I love a good ribeye steak, which makes it all the more confusing. They’re similar, but different. It’s dumb. Anyway, my brother is getting married this Saturday and I chose the snapper over the filet. How’s that for a choice? It’s got nothing to do with National Prime Rib Day, of course, but I had to fill some space before starting class, so there you have it.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
I do love a good snapper though!
OK, let’s get down to business. We’re about three months from college football fall practices opening up, and the First Lady of Chapel Hill is ready to ROLL:
What a week of #content!
Amazing stuff here from 74-year-old Bill Belichick. This is true love, folks. Take that, Pablo Torre! Only true love can make a six-time Super Bowl champion coach spend an offseason Saturday dressed like that at an adult gymnastic competitionthat an adult gymnastic competition.
North Carolina is getting mocked right now because they didn’t have one single player taken in last weekend’s NFL Draft. Laugh all you want, losers. Bill doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest.
I think the Tar Heels are in for a big season. Lock in.
OK, let’s get to the best #content from a fairly busy final weekend of April!
Red Sox, Brittany & gators, oh my!
Obviously, the big story this weekend was the White House dinner Saturday night. Luckily, nobody was hurt outside of the scumbag shooter. Good.
Anyway, a couple thoughts …
- Because nobody was hurt, I can joke about it. How about the one gal who just videoed herself the entire time, instead of, you know, the SHOOTER. Amazing. What a time to be alive.
- Kay Adams has been in four of the past six classes. Even for me, that’s low.
- Alina Habba dominated the event, which should surprise nobody.
- The Red Sox are such a clown show. LOOK at that van! Amazing.
Speaking of, let’s rapid-fire this Monday class into a big Monday night. First up? Looks like Alex Cora and his ragtag group of scapegoated coaches are taking the unemployment hard:
As OutKick’s resident Red Sox fan, I obviously wrote about the van advertisement this morning. Here, I’ll even link it for you so you don’t have to try and navigate the new website. You’re welcome!
Anyway, firing Cora is nothing more than putting lipstick on a pig. That’s it. Craig Breslow STINKS. John Henry is a generational scumbag. As long as those two are in charge, nothing will change.
The Sox made a surprise playoff run last year, and then completely folded over the offseason. Breslow whiffed on everyone. Everyone. Alex Bregman. Pete Alonso. Kyle Schwarber. The Sox needed one bat. They instead lost one, and got none.
Breslow then decided to hang on to all five of his outfielders, instead of trading one or two to address another position of need. Now, the team is stuck with a predictable logjam in the outfield, and in the lineup.
He replaced Alex Bregman — the team’s unquestioned leader last season — with Caleb Durbin at third base. That has been an unmitigated disaster.
He traded Kyle Harrison — the top player the team got back in the Rafael Devers trade — to Milwaukee. Harrison is currently 2-1 this season with a 2.28 ERA. That would be, by far, the lowest ERA of any starter in the Red Sox rotation right now.
Do I need to keep going? I mean, my goodness. What a joke.
PS: The Sox not even having the foresight to bring some Red Sox banners to stick behind these two dummies in Baltimore was so perfect.
Amazing.
Next? While Breslow was busy placing blame on everyone but himself, I was busy taking care of BUSINESS in my backyard over the weekend:
So, we’ve had two gators in our lake for about a month now. It’s just my house and seven other houses that surround the lake, so it’s been all the rage in the neighborhood group chat.
Anyway, we finally got someone to come out and set the trap in my backyard, which was just a fishing pole with a piece of chicken hanging off of it.
I woke up Saturday morning and looked out, and the chicken was gone. She was hooked. This guy came a few hours later, wrestled with her for a few minutes until he got his boot on her mouth, and then just taped it shut. Just regular electric tape. Amazing.
She came in at just under six feet. Tiny, yes, but I assume big enough to take out a neighborhood dog or three. So, one down, one to go.
God, I love this state.
OK, that’s it for today. Good start to the week. Take us into it, Brittany Mahomes!
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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Ever wrestled a gator? Email me at [email protected].
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