It doesn’t get much more dog days of summer than this morning across the U.S. The sun is out for another edition of Monday Screencaps, but there’s smoke in the air and we get just two NFL teams opening their training camps this week.
Weekend observations to get the week rolling:
- I spent nearly four hours Saturday trying to prevent Verizon from bending me over. We’re in a transition period where it’s time for Screencaps the III to get an Apple Watch as he starts to add events to his social resume. I’m not here for a philosophical debate on kids having devices. If we’re sending him to houses where there aren’t home phones, then we need a way to communicate. Anyway, we went to an authorized Verizon store to run some numbers. Big mistake. Sales guy gives us a number and our “Services & Perks” number jumped $70. “Why is this number so high?” I asked. Sales guy calls my bluff. “Don’t worry about that number, worry about your monthly bill. See, it doesn’t go up that much,” he tells me without answering what services and perks I’m getting. I tell the kids we’re leaving. Sales guy is stunned. STUNNED. We walk out. After getting home, I jump on the phone with Verizon. Richard is the guy’s name. 90 minutes later, he cannot show me a statement saying my monthly per phone charge will go down to $45. “Trust me,” he says. The document I want to see isn’t loading, blah, blah, blah. I hang up. I will give Richard credit. He helped me figure out that I was being double-charged for Netflix, and he magically found some “deal” where he wanted to help us save $3 per month for 3 months on Screencaps Jr.’s Apple Watch. SMH. Let’s try again. At this point, I was hoping for an Asian lady because I’ve had success with them in the past. Jana (sp?) answers. In about 25 minutes, we had a deal, the $45 per line adjustment document was in my inbox and Jana had herself a sale.
- I learned this weekend that Verizon charges $68/mo. for its phone insurance policy and IMO it’s a massive scam. Google Gemini alerted me that the $68 plan gets you some sort of customer service help desk, blah, blah, blah. I’ve had it with the constant fleecing.
- My semi-exact statement to Mrs. Screencaps after multiple bad visits to Verizon stores over the past two years: “I will never step foot inside a Verizon store unless it’s an absolute last-resort situation.” You cannot change my mind. It’s definitely not the same company I supported 20 years ago.
- Is it me or is it a bad idea for Ray Lewis to be training to become a stone-cold MMA killer?
CANADIAN WILDFIRE SMOKE IGNITES CROSS-BORDER FEUD OVER OTTAWA’S ‘WILLFUL NEGLIGENCE’
- Based on what I’m witnessing, Tom Brady has to be days away from securing a massive sack of cash from the WWE. That’s the only explanation.
- Outside of Bryson, that has to go down as one of the most-forgettable British Opens in Open history. I need these guys getting battered by rain in Scotland. Hopefully Rory enjoys his summer vacation.
- Thank you to Jena Sims and her girlfriend for having fun and doing guy things in a Liverpool pub. At 37, Jena is that cool, hot mom every group needs. She drinks. She doesn’t seem to care if her husband, Brooksie, goes off for 5-day golf benders with the boys. She probably curses like a sailor. She isn’t afraid to chug Guinness for TikTok.
As I’ve written multiple times, it’s at this age where too many Gen Xers decided to turn into yoga experts and pray to some butterfly goddess, especially during the COVID era. From what I’m seeing, Millennial women around Jena’s age aren’t going down that path and it’s great to see.
- I’m told the Tour de France is about to get real this week. I’m ready for it. Give me guys struggling to survive as they crank up some 14,000-foot mountain. I want to feel the pain and struggle as I sit in the man cave under a blanket at 9 p.m. this week.
What’s the dumbest road sign you’ve ever seen?
– Phil S. in Florida emails: What’s the stupidest road sign anyone has seen? I’m aware of the “man opening an umbrella” from the UK. I have 3. I originally thought of this passing a sign in my neighborhood that kills me a little inside. “Narrow Bridge”.
Down here in Florida it’s harder to get a DUI in a golf cart, so a lot of people have them, I also live by a golf course too. My problem is the kart path along the road has 3 or so feet of grass between it and the road, then suddenly the grass narrows and is eventually gone before going over the bridge and everything is squeezed together.
Then it widens again on the other side. Why not just build a wider bridge? It’s only 1 lane each way. These drunk retirees won’t question the $1.35 it cost each of them in cement and asphalt. I imagine a Ford Expedition and a Chevy Suburban meeting here in opposite directions is probably like passing on Bolivia’s death road.
The second is from my home town in Illinois, just around the corner from the house I mostly grew up in. There was a big field behind the house with a playground, along the road each way were signs depicting kids on a seesaw. I always looked at it and thought “beware seesawers” like they were going to seesaw into the street. I think the old “Watch for children” sign would’ve worked just fine… I guess Illinois had to spend all that tax money on something, like a stupid sign.
Last, having traveled and lived in many parts of this great country is a common sign in the southwest along highways in AZ UT CO. “Falling rock”. Just 1 rock? How long has it been falling? Can we put a net up to catch it? This single rock seems to be a random hazard, not something that requires a road sign making me now pay attention to the cliff face on my right while navigating the steepest slope I’ve ever driven down while also behind a semi that keeps downshifting as I try not to ride my breaks down to bare metal or die from any of the many ways presented.
What’s the most pointless road sign you’ve seen?
Kirk B. in Duluth wants credit for some of that wildfire smoke
– He writes: Well and here we go again slamming Canada for all the bad forest fires & smoke conditions……..but this started in the BWCA in northern & north & eastern Minnesota these fires started because of a lightning strike a couple of weeks ago and has spread to 15 individual fires burning in north & eastern Minnesota now it has jumped the border and other fires already
I live 2 1/2 – 3 hours south of the fires in Duluth Minnesota & we went through almost three days of real bad days of smoke to the ground worse than when it gets dark gloomy and foggy during the day and people complain about how bad it’s been they should be just a few hours from the fires we have been warned that it’s not over with the bad forest fire smoke for the future and to expect more days before it’ll get better
It might be time for me to post a pool rules sign
– Joey in Pekin, IL has one that has one that has served him well over the years: Great topics as always! I’m a little late to this one but you’ve brought me off the sidelines with your pool conundrum. Attached is the sign for our pool. A little weathered now, but it’s done the job with the first 2 kids, and the 3rd is almost 17, without any major claims. That’s success if you ask me!
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That’s it this morning as we head deep into July. Keep in mind the Cardinals and Panthers report to camp on Wednesday. We just have to hold on. Football will be here before you know it. Buckle down. Clean out the garage. Go golfing. Stay busy.
Let’s get after it.
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