Police in Tulsa, Oklahoma need the public’s help. They’re looking for someone they’ve dubbed a “serial defecator.”
A “mostly naked man” has been terrorizing local businesses and is on the loose despite the Tulsa Police Department’s attempts to capture him.
A business owner in a shopping center reported that a man wearing a thong, a cut-open mask, and a shower cap had taken a dump in a dog waste bag and smeared it on the walls and doors of the business.
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The police responded around 4:30 am on Wednesday morning, reports FOX 23, but weren’t able to find the “serial defecator.” They did, however, get a good look at the man thanks to security camera footage.
In the footage, captured on a camera the business owner put up, police say the partially masked man exposed himself before dropping another deuce into a doggie bag.
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“Officers have responded to the area on multiple occasions, but have yet to track him down,” the Tulsa Police Department wrote in a Facebook post.
“Please, if you know where we can find him, we’d love to relieve these business owners.”
This guy has to be stopped. You can’t have businesses worried about whether they’re going to start their day with walls and doors covered in poop. That’s not how a functioning society operates.
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As for his chosen attire, while hilarious, you don’t want to get too close if you see him in his shower cap, mask with a hole, and thong outfit. And I’d run if you hear the snap of a rubber glove and the crinkle of a doggie bag.
Run, but call the police as you do. You don’t want to give the “serial defecator” a chance to locate a phone booth and turn back into a normal member of society. The police have had a hard time catching him after all.
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