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You are at:Home » You Must Be This Crazy To Lose a Democratic Primary in 2026
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You Must Be This Crazy To Lose a Democratic Primary in 2026

Dewey LewisBy Dewey LewisAugust 12, 2026No Comments4 Mins Read
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You Must Be This Crazy To Lose a Democratic Primary in 2026
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Democratic primary voters have shown a remarkable tolerance for anti-American lunacy in 2026. On Tuesday, they finally found their limit. Francesca Hong, a bipolar college dropout former chef who denounced restaurants for being “rooted in white supremacy,” lost the gubernatorial primary in Wisconsin—by the slimmest of margins—to an establishment-backed opponent who argued it was racist to call him part of the establishment.

Hong, 37, would have been—and very nearly was—the second Democratic candidate endorsed by Hasan Piker, the Hamas-loving Maoist influencer, to win a statewide primary election this cycle. Piker, best known for saying America “deserved” the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, backed the winner of last week’s U.S. Senate primary in Michigan. Abdul El-Sayed, the anticapitalist luxury watch collector who argued that football was “toxically masculine,” defeated his establishment-backed opponent by a single percentage point.

Graham Platner wasn’t officially endorsed by Piker, but he might as well have been. The former Democratic Senate nominee in Maine was the first anti-American lunatic to defeat the party establishment in a statewide primary. Alas, Platner was ultimately deemed too creepy to proceed to the general election. At the congressional level, there are numerous examples of left-wing cranks who were just crazy enough without crossing the line.

In the interest of empirical inquiry, we’ve compiled a handy list of the behaviors a majority of Democratic primary voters have deemed acceptable, along with those they couldn’t tolerate. It is our best attempt to establish the outer limits of the Democratic Party’s tolerance for raving nutjobs.

• Public support for defunding the police, abolishing prisons (various)

• Hating Israel (various)

• Hating America (various)

• Sharing a stage with a radical Muslim cleric who praised the Oct. 7 terrorist attack and said the Holocaust has been “exaggerated” (El-Sayed)

• Cavorting with a pro-Hezbollah imam who suggested the Jews were to blame for assassinating John F. Kennedy and Malcom X (El-Sayed)

• Promoting a book that encourages destructive riots and the “violence of rebellion” (El-Sayed)

• Being a Sharia-compliant international landlord (El-Sayed)

• Campaigning with Hasan Piker (El-Sayed)

• Being a man under 5’9″ (El-Sayed)

• Playing lacrosse (El-Sayed)

• Having a Nazi skull tattoo (Platner)

• Blatantly lying about a Nazi skull tattoo (Platner)

• Cosplaying as working class (Platner)

• Boasting of a fetish for masturbating in porta potties (Platner)

• Using a sketchy hookup app teeming with child predators to cheat on your wife (Platner)

• Allegedly abusing a woman who has worked for Republicans (Platner)

• Expressing a bizarre fantasy about raping a home intruder but “not in a gay way” (Platner)

• Testifying on behalf of the terrorist who inspired the 1993 World Trade Center bombing (Adam Hamawy, N.J.)

• Praising a notorious cop-killer as an unjustly imprisoned “freedom fighter” (Chris Rabb, Pa.)

• Denouncing interracial relationships (Darializa Avila Chevalier, N.Y.)

• Describing American soldiers as “child murderers” (Avila Chevalier)

• Bragging about using the American flag as a napkin (Avila Chevalier)

• Wearing Hollywood makeup like a fancy girl (Jon Ossoff, Ga.)

• Allegedly raping a Democrat (Platner)

• Campaigning with Hasan Piker and Ilhan Omar at the same time (Hong)

• Voting against a bill to impose harsh penalties on adults who groom children for sex (Hong)

• Wanting to cancel Thanksgiving because it was “the original superspreader event that killed Indegenous folx [sic] and women” (Hong)

• Condemning other normal holidays such as the Fourth of July, Christmas, and Halloween (Hong)

• Denouncing a “cowardly” hospital for refusing to provide sex-change operations to minors (Hong)

• Describing your biracial child as an example of your “proximity to whiteness” (Hong)

• Hosting a six-course dinner “inspired by menstruation” (Hong)

• Studying sports journalism in college (Hong)

• Writing a crappy poem about the Bush administration’s plot to frame Osama bin Laden for the 9/11 terrorist attacks (Jamaal Bowman, N.Y.)

• Being a kooky sex therapist who rants about Jews and vowing to build a “castration processing center” for “American Zionists” and other “pedophiles” (Maureen Galindo, Texas)

• Using campaign funds to hire an intergalactic self-defense guru who claims to be 109 trillion years old, boasts of being able to summon tornadoes with his mind, and is determined to save the world from Jewish treachery (Cori Bush, Mo.)

Read the full article here

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Popular Posts
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